Ignorance

I got back to campus today and outside of Morton Williams was a homeless guy. Nothing unusual there are always homeless people outside Morton. However when I got closer something struck me about this guy that I just can't shake. He was wearing the thinnest jacket in 10 degree weather. He was jumping around trying to stay warm but his jump was... energetic. He was strangely polite and he had this huge grin on his face. Usually when I see a homeless person I feel bad but I tell myself that I'll forget about them in 5 minutes, which I do. After working at the food pantry in high school at observing some homeless people I'd come up with my own generalization that many of them are in the position they are because they deserve it. This sort of karma helped me justify my dismissal of my sadness when I encountered a homeless person. But this guy today... it's been an hour and I can't shake the feeling. I took one bite of a hot pocket and was so overcome with guilt about eating when this guy probably hadn't eaten in god knows how long that I couldn't finish the hot pocket. I realized that I used to want to make a difference in the world. Change individual lives. Now I'm trying to get an internship purely for my own needs. I hope that one day I will make a difference in individual lives. I hope... I don't know why this guy is hitting me so hard. Maybe it's the guilt of the career path I'm pursuing. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten since lunch. Maybe it's because I just got back from sunny carefree Aruba. Maybe. I hope that after I wake up tomorrow morning the feelings will be dulled. Hopefully... What I would give to be 5 again with out a care in the world.